Post by justme on May 25, 2008 10:12:06 GMT -5
I haven't posted much here but have lurked now that my whole case is over I will post out the long story
my daughter here on known as D was born june 2000 when she was 10 months old I went manic and left her with her sperm donor (you will understand why I use that term later) he had me sign an agreement that I could see her anytime but in his mind it was any time I had 50 dollars, being drunk/homeless and undiagnoised bipolar it didnt happen much. I got diagnosed with bipolar,PTSD and anxiety issues in Nov 2001 and he saw me changing he didn't like it and told me "move to ----- or never see her again" I moved knowing my current partner is in this city he could help me in now way did I expect us to get together (much to the dismay of donor who thinks it was a conspiracy)
upon our move in Jan 2002 things went bad to worse as I continued getting stable and quit drinking it cost me money to see her money I didnt have so I couldn't see her on any type of regular basis.
On Feb 24th I called him I had money his words were " well I am finally getting sleep fuck off" she had been removed the night before.
I believe in second chances for all so originally I supported him getting her back it was not untill august that year that I saw him doing nothing expect fight every little thing anybody said and changed to custody. During this whole period my first worker had a saying "but your bipolar how can you parent" she moved D 7 times in nine times and actually had the gall to ask me "why does she run when sees me" lets see it actually came out you move her every time you see her. I went to director and media about the treatment I got from her and my complaints worked, they worked becasue they saw that I was not given a case plan yet I did 2 courses and a pych meeting and everything I could think of I didnt make big deals of small thing but darn right I took issue with things like being told the worker would call my landlord every month to verify my rent paid I may have been homeless for close to ten years but in all my places I have never been evicted.
In Jan 2004 they offered custody to me donor stated in court "i would rather her grow up in care than with shelly"
we did a parent capacity assessment it stated no access for donor and custody for me
Nov 04 our first trial, the judge upon hearing the CAS case sided with them and pulled them into chambers telling them make a deal so I dealt I would have access and CAS stated on the stand it was reasonable to believe placement into my home was possible
well he got custody the judge noted "I dont believe this placement will work long term"
It didnt I had right from the start over 50% of the time I supplied all food and clothing for homes. I was made to call 2 times daily or loose access he rubbed snow in her face till raw ,he hit my child, he pinched and slapped her, shaved her head "I don't want to deal with it" he put her on a baby bottle and that bottle led to me holding her hand while 2 teeth were pulled, he did no doctors appointments and even though she was diagnosed special needs and her services were in place upon her return to him he refused them to this day he refuses to believe she is special needs he ADMITS all of this CAS did nothing I documented my ass off and we went back to trial in June 2006 and in July 06 I got placement he was given access with a no hitting clause but not only did he hit her, he slept naked with her (also against court order) he drank (against order) he played many head games with her he did things like leaving her in charge of her meds she was 6 but the worst was he THREW on the concrete in what he says "was self defense becasue she kicked me" after that he stood there and called her "a fucking bully, you fucking rat"
I took it back to court under the new rule that allowed me to hold custody and a supervision at one time it took time I originally filed in November 2007 CAS filed in July 07 agreeing with me of course it went to trial, we just finished trial and he was his own layer he spoke of nothing expect to refuse to believe she is bipolar among other things and that Im a some how a bad mom supposedly I with held access yet I had documentation to prove I was there every time untill the court ordered none in April 2007 after her there her the judge saw him for he is and gave his judgment from the bench I have full custody he has no access or contact he does have the right to medical and educational information so long as I sign the consents I am fine D"s shrink deemed her capable of giving or revoking consents and she refused conset for to know anything based on "its not his beeswax" "he will only use it to bother us"
I am finnally sleeping its been a damn long time but the CAS did get up on the stand that day and stated "shelly is a model parent" "she is always one step ahead of us"
I do have a voluntary agreement given my daughters needs there are times they actually come in handy such as when is held in the pych ward and I get looked at the ex drunk/ bipolar mom who knows nothing being able to say hey I got CAS in my life and they agree with ME tends to change thier attitudes as well they get me needed repsite and stuff if my child was normal they would be gone
my daughter here on known as D was born june 2000 when she was 10 months old I went manic and left her with her sperm donor (you will understand why I use that term later) he had me sign an agreement that I could see her anytime but in his mind it was any time I had 50 dollars, being drunk/homeless and undiagnoised bipolar it didnt happen much. I got diagnosed with bipolar,PTSD and anxiety issues in Nov 2001 and he saw me changing he didn't like it and told me "move to ----- or never see her again" I moved knowing my current partner is in this city he could help me in now way did I expect us to get together (much to the dismay of donor who thinks it was a conspiracy)
upon our move in Jan 2002 things went bad to worse as I continued getting stable and quit drinking it cost me money to see her money I didnt have so I couldn't see her on any type of regular basis.
On Feb 24th I called him I had money his words were " well I am finally getting sleep fuck off" she had been removed the night before.
I believe in second chances for all so originally I supported him getting her back it was not untill august that year that I saw him doing nothing expect fight every little thing anybody said and changed to custody. During this whole period my first worker had a saying "but your bipolar how can you parent" she moved D 7 times in nine times and actually had the gall to ask me "why does she run when sees me" lets see it actually came out you move her every time you see her. I went to director and media about the treatment I got from her and my complaints worked, they worked becasue they saw that I was not given a case plan yet I did 2 courses and a pych meeting and everything I could think of I didnt make big deals of small thing but darn right I took issue with things like being told the worker would call my landlord every month to verify my rent paid I may have been homeless for close to ten years but in all my places I have never been evicted.
In Jan 2004 they offered custody to me donor stated in court "i would rather her grow up in care than with shelly"
we did a parent capacity assessment it stated no access for donor and custody for me
Nov 04 our first trial, the judge upon hearing the CAS case sided with them and pulled them into chambers telling them make a deal so I dealt I would have access and CAS stated on the stand it was reasonable to believe placement into my home was possible
well he got custody the judge noted "I dont believe this placement will work long term"
It didnt I had right from the start over 50% of the time I supplied all food and clothing for homes. I was made to call 2 times daily or loose access he rubbed snow in her face till raw ,he hit my child, he pinched and slapped her, shaved her head "I don't want to deal with it" he put her on a baby bottle and that bottle led to me holding her hand while 2 teeth were pulled, he did no doctors appointments and even though she was diagnosed special needs and her services were in place upon her return to him he refused them to this day he refuses to believe she is special needs he ADMITS all of this CAS did nothing I documented my ass off and we went back to trial in June 2006 and in July 06 I got placement he was given access with a no hitting clause but not only did he hit her, he slept naked with her (also against court order) he drank (against order) he played many head games with her he did things like leaving her in charge of her meds she was 6 but the worst was he THREW on the concrete in what he says "was self defense becasue she kicked me" after that he stood there and called her "a fucking bully, you fucking rat"
I took it back to court under the new rule that allowed me to hold custody and a supervision at one time it took time I originally filed in November 2007 CAS filed in July 07 agreeing with me of course it went to trial, we just finished trial and he was his own layer he spoke of nothing expect to refuse to believe she is bipolar among other things and that Im a some how a bad mom supposedly I with held access yet I had documentation to prove I was there every time untill the court ordered none in April 2007 after her there her the judge saw him for he is and gave his judgment from the bench I have full custody he has no access or contact he does have the right to medical and educational information so long as I sign the consents I am fine D"s shrink deemed her capable of giving or revoking consents and she refused conset for to know anything based on "its not his beeswax" "he will only use it to bother us"
I am finnally sleeping its been a damn long time but the CAS did get up on the stand that day and stated "shelly is a model parent" "she is always one step ahead of us"
I do have a voluntary agreement given my daughters needs there are times they actually come in handy such as when is held in the pych ward and I get looked at the ex drunk/ bipolar mom who knows nothing being able to say hey I got CAS in my life and they agree with ME tends to change thier attitudes as well they get me needed repsite and stuff if my child was normal they would be gone