Post by litigator on Mar 18, 2007 6:33:35 GMT -5
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Q: What's the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?
A: The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.
Q: What's the difference between lawyers and buzzards?
A: Lawyers have removable wing tips.
Q: What's the definition of a lawyer?
A: A mouth with a life support system.
Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?
A: No changes occur.
Q: What's the difference between God and an attorney?
A: God doesn't think he's an attorney.
What's black and brown and look great on lawyers?
Dobermans
What's the difference between a Rooster and a Lawyer?
A rooster clucks defiance.
What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
One in 50,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Why does the American Bar Association prohibit sex between attorneys and their clients?
To prevent the client for being billed twice for what is essentially the same service.
Why do they bury lawyers 27 feet under?
'Cuz deep, deep down, they're good people!
What's the difference between a Catfish and a lawyer?
One is a scum sucking bottom dweller, and the other is a fish.
What's the difference between a porcupine and two lawyers in a BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
Take your foot off it's head
What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit?
The bucket.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a duck?
Occasionally a duck will stick its bill up its ass.
If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
It might be your bicycle.
What do lawyers use as contraceptives?
Their personalities.
A: Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Q: What's the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?
A: The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.
Q: What's the difference between lawyers and buzzards?
A: Lawyers have removable wing tips.
Q: What's the definition of a lawyer?
A: A mouth with a life support system.
Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?
A: No changes occur.
Q: What's the difference between God and an attorney?
A: God doesn't think he's an attorney.
What's black and brown and look great on lawyers?
Dobermans
What's the difference between a Rooster and a Lawyer?
A rooster clucks defiance.
What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
One in 50,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Why does the American Bar Association prohibit sex between attorneys and their clients?
To prevent the client for being billed twice for what is essentially the same service.
Why do they bury lawyers 27 feet under?
'Cuz deep, deep down, they're good people!
What's the difference between a Catfish and a lawyer?
One is a scum sucking bottom dweller, and the other is a fish.
What's the difference between a porcupine and two lawyers in a BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
Take your foot off it's head
What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit?
The bucket.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a duck?
Occasionally a duck will stick its bill up its ass.
If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
It might be your bicycle.
What do lawyers use as contraceptives?
Their personalities.