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Post by REALITY on Jan 15, 2007 10:50:31 GMT -5
Grandparents raising kids as meth spreads After drugs destroy, new families take shape DAHLEEN GLANTON Chicago Tribune CROSSVILLE, Tenn. - Delta and Paul Cottrell thought they would be empty nesters by the time they reached their 60s. By then, they would have competed the toughest job of their lives - parenting - and a leisurely retirement would be just a few years away.
But methamphetamine has a way of altering lives, not just for those who abuse the drug but also for the relatives who step in to pick up the pieces when families fall apart. So Delta Cottrell, 56, and her 57-year-old husband, Paul, have settled into an unexpected life as parents of her 11- and 7-year-old grandchildren, adopted when Delta's stepdaughter from another marriage lost custody because of drugs.
"When this happens, your whole life is imposed upon, but it is by choice because there is no other way," said Paul Cottrell, a retired Air Force veteran who works as a construction site handyman. "I would not take anything for my children, but our new lifestyle means there is no time for me, and more of my hard-earned money is going toward things I had not planned for."
What happened in one home in rural Tennessee is being played out across the United States as methamphetamine makes its way across the country, breaking up families and creating an influx of abused and neglected children who have placed an unprecedented burden on state welfare systems.
In many cases, grandparents are viewed as the last hope for relieving foster care systems that are overflowing. And they are stepping out of retirement or forgoing it in record numbers to raise grandchildren whose parents are unable or unwilling to take responsibility.
More than 4.5 million children in the United States live with their grandparents, according to the 2000 census, a 30 percent increase from 1990. An additional 1.5 million children live with other relatives.
The increase in so-called grandfamilies, experts said, coincides with the rise in meth addiction, particularly in rural areas where social services are limited. In a recent study by Generations United, a grandparents advocacy group, 40 percent of child welfare workers reported an increase in meth-related placements.
Advocacy groups are lobbying Congress to change laws to make it easier for grandparents and other relatives to care for children, giving them the same rights as foster parents but easing some of the stringent requirements for state licensing. The federal government and many states, however, have been slow to grant financial help and decision-making rights to relatives who have no legal status in the child's life.
When a child is removed from a meth-lab home, he often arrives at the grandparents' home with nothing. And he often suffers from medical problems.
This can cause a financial burden for grandparents, many of whom are on fixed incomes. Foster parents receive monthly assistance; grandparents, for the most part, receive little or no financial aid.
People such as the Cottrells are on the front line of the battle to save them.
For the first four months, the Cottrells received no help from the state of Tennessee. Both children had medical problems and needed counseling. Zachery, who suffers from attention deficit disorder, takes five medications.
Both children are now enrolled in TennCare, the state's medical care program for children, and the Cottrells receive $9 a day to care for Amber Rose and $12 a day for Zachery.
Days and evenings are full for the Cottrells. Delta, who underwent surgery in May for a brain aneurysm, said, "You do get tired sometimes and you realize why God gives children to young people.
"For me, the children I gave birth to are no different than the children I adopted. Children don't only come from the womb, they come from the heart."
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Post by REALITY on Jan 15, 2007 22:42:29 GMT -5
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Post by REALITY on Jan 15, 2007 23:10:57 GMT -5
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Post by REALITY on Jan 20, 2007 12:10:11 GMT -5
[tr][/tr]First International Summit for Grandparent and Kinship Caregivers
Grandparents Caring for Children:
A Global Challenge
May 6 – 8, 2007
Marriott on the Bridge Hotel – New York City, NY, USA
INITIAL SPONSORS
The National Committee of Grandparents for Children’s Rights
The Florida Kinship Center – University of South Florida GRAND Magazine
SUMMIT GOALS
Millions of the world’s children are at risk because of recent dramatic increases in family breakdowns, national disasters, and global catastrophes. Now, more than ever, grandparents and other relatives are a natural resource of international importance. Governments must maximize the use of these alternative caregivers in order to meet the need for building and rebuilding strong families.
The first step is to listen to the cumulative experience of the world’s grandparents and kinship caregivers.
These caregivers, especially grandparents, are a traditional and universal voice for families. The world’s matriarchs and patriarchs speak with the moral authority of our collective cultures. Their representatives from five continents will come together in New York City to analyze the barriers facing kinship caregivers and define principles, best practices, and laws that might better support their families.
Summit participants will convene on the final day to create an international coalition and to vote on a set of resolutions declaring the rights of grandparents, kinship caregivers, and the children in their care.
SUMMIT EVENTS
Sunday, May 6, 2007
3:00 pm First Opportunity: Tour of PSS/WSF GrandParent Family Apartments in the Bronx – Tour Host, David Taylor, Executive Director
6:00 pm “Getting to Know You” Dinner – Join us in the Hotel dinning room (participants responsible for cost of their dinner)
Monday, May 7, 2007
8:00 am Registration and Continental Breakfast
9:00 am Welcome to the World of Grandparent and Kinship Caregiving
NCGCR, GRAND Magazine, The Florida Kinship Center and dignitaries
9:30 am It Takes a BIG Village – Partnering from the Back Fence to the Board Room – Part I
Diane Vivian, National Convenor, Grandparents Raising Grandchildren™
Charitable Trust, New Zealand
Betty Cornelius,Founder, CANGRANDS National Kinship Support, Canada
Anne L McLeish, Director, Grandparents Australia, Australia
10:30 am Break
10:45 am It Takes a BIG Village – Partnering from the Back Fence to the Board Room – Part II
The Honorable Josefine Koeblitz, Germany
Ambassador Cyril Boynes Jr, Hon. Consul to the Americas, Bunyoro-Kitara, Uganda Christine Leaves, Director, Grandparent Support, England
Linda Silvas, Member, Juaneno Band of Mission Indians, Acjachemen Nation, USA
11:45 am PSS/WSF GrandParent Family Apartments– David Taylor, Executive Director, Presbyterian Senior Services, Brooklyn, NY
Noon Buffet Lunch with Keynote Speaker: THAT SINGING RAGE: MISS PATTI PAGE!
Hear about the singer’s personal experience as a grandparent caregiver.
Autograph session included!
1:00 pm A World of Experience: Building Families the Second Time Around – Part I
1. Grand Families Matter – Focusing on Children with Special Needs
Rosemarie Satyshur, Asst Professor, School of Nursing, University of Maryland.
2. Early Education for Pre-Schoolers, Sarah Walzer, Director, Parent/Child Home Program
3. Changing Habits – the Caregivers Total Workout, Debbie Mandel, Stress Management Specialist, Radio Show Host
4. Grandparents and Grandchildren – Dr. Lillian Carson, renowned psychotherapist and author
2:30 pm Power Break
3:00 pm A World of Experience: Building Families the Second Time Around – Part II
1. The Importance of Effective Advocacy,
Jack Levine, Founder, Generations Institute
2. Substance abuse in Families, Linda Silvas – Native American Lecturer and Author of Mama Bear, Baby Bear
3. Submission and Discussion of Summit Resolutions – Part I
Limited to 30 participants including summit international invitees
6:00 – 8:00 A Toast to You!
Wine and Hors d’Oeuvres – A great opportunity to meet and mingle
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
8:00 am Continental Breakfast and Registration
9:00 am Weaving a Legal Safety Net for Children Living with Relatives – Panel Part I Judge Warren McGraw, State Supreme Court Justice, USA
Judge Josefine Koeblitz, Germany
TBA
10: 00 am Power Break
10:15 am Weaving a Social Service Safety Net for Children Living with Relatives – Panel Part II
Social Services Director Dennis Nowak, Suffolk County, NY, USA
Social Services Director Louise Skolnik, Nassau County, NY, USA
Presbyterian Senior Services Program Director Katherine Martinez, Bronx, NY, USA
11:00 am Creating and Nurturing National Partnerships in the United States
Donna Butts, Executive Dir., Generations United
Amy Goyer, American Association of Retired Persons
Cassaundra Rainey, Child Welfare League of America
David Levy – Children’s Rights Council,
Representative TBA – Children’s Defense Fund
Noon Lunch with a Message – From Family Value to Legal Value: The Right to Care
Dr. Arthur Kornhaber, Author and Expert on Grandparent Issues, USA
Gerard Wallace, Esq., Director, Kincare Support Project, Albany Law School, Albany, NY, USA
1:00 pm Raising the Spirit / Raising the Child
1. Program Development
Kevin Brabazon, Lecturer, New York University, USA
Cultural Parenting
2. Cultural Parenting – Charlene Ingram – Child Welfare League of America
3, Discussion on Summit Resolutions – Part II
2:30 pm Break
2:45 pm Plenary Vote on Draft Resolutions and the Organization of International Coalition
4:30 pm Closing Remarks
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
10:00 am Final Opportunity: Tour of PSS/WSF GrandParent Family Apartments – Tour Host, David Taylor
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Post by REALITY on Feb 28, 2007 19:12:10 GMT -5
Grandmothers Filling the Void Left by Their Children Allow 'Primetime' to Document the Challenges They Face
Feb. 27, 2007 — According to the latest census figures, 6.7 million children in the United States are being raised by grandparents and other relatives. That's roughly one in 12 children, about 10 times the number of children in the U.S. foster care system. Despite these numbers, it's largely an epidemic hiding in plain sight.
"Primetime" first reported on the phenomenon 18 months ago, and after the report aired, ABC News received hundreds of e-mails from grandparents raising their grandchildren, and offering to share their stories. One e-mail came from two grandmothers in Delaware. They invited "Primetime" into their homes, and for the past year and a half, we followed their lives.
It begins — as many stories of parents unable to raise their children do — outside a prison. In October 2005, Ronnie Lennon was about to get out of jail. At 36 years old, Lennon had spent half of his life in prison on various charges. He had been on and off drugs for most of his adult life, and for the past decade, his two children — Erika, 16, and Matthew, 13 — had been raised by Lennon's 57-year-old mother, Nina McGonegal.
The children's mother had not been a reliable presence in their lives, either, so it was up to McGonegal, who survives on Social Security and a part-time job, to be mother and father to Erika and Matthew in her small house on the outskirts of Wilmington, Del. About a quarter of grandparents raising grandchildren live below the poverty line.
'I Will Die Believing in Him'
On that October day, full of hope and dread, McGonegal waited for her son, with granddaughter Erika at her side. McGonegal's friend Tina Light, who was also raising two of her grandchildren, advised McGonagel to cut ties with her son, as she had done with her daughter Jennifer. But against her better judgement and the advice of her friend, McGonegal had already made a fateful decision to let Lennon come home.
"He's my only child, and I will probably die believing in him," said McGonegal. "I'm not happy with him. I don't like him at times as a person, but when he's clean, I love him."
At first, McGonegal had high hopes for her son. He offered to help fix things around the house and to look for work, and he helped the kids with their homework.
"He's a great father when he's not using drugs," said McGonegal. "He's a fantastic father. The kids love him."
Erika was on the honor roll at school, and both children welcomed their father home. "They're just enjoying each other so much, and I sit back and I just know that, of course, this is the right thing," said McGonegal. "These are memories that they will cherish forever."
'My Dad Used to Be My Hero'
McGonegal and Light are just two of more than two-and-a-half million grandparents in similar situations. If the children they're raising were in foster care, their foster parents would receive on average, about $500 a month for each child. In Delaware, a grandparent receives $201 a month for the first grandchild, and $69 a month for the second child.
With her son home, McGonegal is happy to have some help raising two teenagers, and hopes her son will assist in keeping Erika focused on school and college. But it is not easy, Lennon admits. "It's very daunting to me … I'm 36 years old and I've never lived on my own. I've never supported myself in the traditional way, having a home, caring for myself and my children. I've never done it, not for a day."
And despite his best intentions, Lennon couldn't escape his past. Within weeks, he became frustrated with his job search. "What do I put on my job application?" he wondered. He had no driver's license, no job history and had been convicted of two felonies. "It's really hard for me," he admitted.
Old patterns started to emerge, and Lennon started to stay out at night. The less Lennon was around, the more Erika seemed to resent her father's attempts at discipline. Two months after Lennon's return, Erika was suspended for skipping school.
"My dad used to be my hero," Erika said. "I used to be able to talk to him whenever I needed to, tell him everything and anything." But now she says things are different. "He's just changed, and I don't exactly [know] what it is."
'These Are Kids That Have a Chance'
The same day Erika was suspended, McGonegal noticed that her son, who had no driver's license and no money, had acquired a car. To McGonegal, this was a sure sign Lennon had returned to his old ways.
"When I pulled up and saw the car I was like, 'that's it, that's it, that's the indicator right there, that's the icing on the cake,'" she said, "'that's when our life falls apart, when a vehicle comes into this place.'"
Erika was also furious with her father. "The fact is, Dad, you don't have a license, No. 1. No. 2, the car is illegal. So, you want to go out and do something illegal? Why the hell shouldn't I? And I have to be the one that's grounded … and I'm sick and tired of it, 'cause I don't deserve it!"
McGonegal began to think she's made a terrible mistake. "These are kids that have a chance," she told Lennon. "I want them to have a chance."
But McGonegal still couldn't bring herself to banish her child from her life.
"How do you say, 'Go away, get out of my life?' I'm getting older. Every time he hugs me, I keep thinking this could be the last hug I ever get. How do I just say, 'Go away, go die in the street.' I can't do that."
History Repeating Itself
The rift between Erika and her father continued to grow, and Erika started staying out more and more. Lennon warned his daughter that she was heading down a dangerous path. "You're following my road. What makes you think that it's gonna lead out somewhere different?," he said. "You're following right behind me. What, you think that it's gonna lead out to some magical place? I'm lucky that I had my mom … so that I had a place to come to. … Once she's gone, God knows what I'm gonna have, you're not gonna have somebody to run home to."
Erika ultimately ran away several times, and found out she'd become pregnant by her 20-year-old boyfriend, whose nickname is Kiss. Kiss wanted her to have the baby. McGonegal vowed that she wouldn't care for another generation, but she was torn.
"She has to realize and I'm being very serious," McGonegal said. "I'm eventually going to sell this house and get myself a small apartment. I cannot continue to be caregiver, because my own health is too fragile. I have too many things going on that no way am I going to take another child. I have to detach myself at this point."
"I can't do it," McGonegal told her granddaughter. "I love you. I love the baby, but I can't provide for you. I can't even provide for myself."
Grandparents March on Washington
When things got especially difficult for McGonegal, she turned to Light. The two women met at a support group meeting in 1997, and they eventually decided to start their own support group for the state of Delaware, where an estimated 7,000 grandparents are caring for grandchildren. The support group, Grandparents United Delaware, holds meetings, lobbies state legislators for more rights and support, and publishes a newsletter.
In September, the women boarded a bus to Washington, D.C. There, they met up with thousands of other grandparents and relatives raising children, for a rally on the steps of the Capitol. The purpose was to urge states and the federal government to grant more rights and aid to a growing number of grand-families. Earlier this month, Sens. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., and Olympia Snowe, R-Maine, reintroduced the Kinship Caregiver Support Act, which, in previous attempts, has never made it out of the Senate Finance Committee. Back in Delaware, 17-year-old Erika was about to give birth. Erika and her grandmother fixed up her room, and were ready for the new arrival. McGonegal went with Erika to the hospital, where Erika's daughter, Leah, was born this past Nov. 17, on McGonegal's 58th birthday.
But a few days later, without telling her grandmother, Erika left the hospital with Kiss, his mother and the baby. To gain custody of Leah, McGonegal would have to go to court, and says she is not ready to do that.
'I Feel Like an Outsider'
In another troubling twist, Lennon ended up back in prison, picked up for driving without a license, in an unregistered automobile, while intoxicated. He was offered a plea, with a year of home confinement, but he rejected the offer. He would have had to "concede that I'm a habitual criminal and plead to a felony, and I'm not ready to do that," he said.
In an interview from prison a few days ago, Lennon reflected on his life. "I feel like an outsider when I'm trying to participate in society. … When I'm running around with the people who are doing the things that I'm doing, I feel like a king." When he acts outside the law, he says, "I don't feel inadequate. I don't feel insecure. I don't feel any of those feelings that I feel when I'm trying to participate in society."
Lennon admitted he started to drink and take drugs to numb his pain and avoid responsibility. "My last three months, I wasn't even in my house. I didn't want to see anything that reminded me of what a failure I was." He blames himself for Erika's downward spiral.
"I haven't behaved like a father," he said. "I haven't been a role model for them to follow." Asked whether he felt guilty for leaving his mother to raise his children, he said, "I'm so guilty of everything … It's like, how full can a glass of water be if you keep pouring in it and just overflows? It can't get anymore full."
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Post by REALITY on Mar 1, 2007 14:49:52 GMT -5
Senate votes to ease grandparents’ path to custody
By Sonji Jacobs | Thursday, March 1, 2007, 01:33 PM
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The Georgia Senate voted today in favor of a measure that would allow grandparents to care for their minor grandchildren without court approval. Instead, the child’s parents could give the grandparents authority by simply signing a legal document.
The bill also would establish a subsidy program, managed by the state Department of Human Resources, to help low-income grandparents who have legal custody or guardianship of their grandchildren and participate in programs designed for grandparents raising grandchildren.
Grandparents who have an annual income of less than 200 percent of the federal poverty level, or about $40,000 for a family of four, would be able to use the subsidy to purchase items such as food, books, clothes and medicine and cover living expenses such as rent, car repairs and gasoline.
Sen. Renee Unterman (R-Buford), the bill’s sponsor, said lawmakers should not be concerned about creating another government-based subsidy program.
“If these children did not go to their grandparents, they would be going into foster care,” Unterman said. “This is a pro-family bill that allows these families to stay together.”
Senate Bill 88 passed by a vote of 55-1. Sen. Bill Heath (R-Bremen) cast the only dissenting vote against the bill. He questioned whether grandparents who have raised children who have made poor life choices should be entrusted to care for their grandchildren.
Unterman and several other lawmakers countered that parents can not control their children and that even people raised in good homes can grow up and make bad decisions.
The effective date of the bill, if it gains final approval, is July 1, 2007. Unterman said the DHR budget already has $1.2 million in Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) funds set aside for the program.
In addition:
— A bill that would give foster parents additional protection and rights cleared the Senate by a unanimous vote of 56-0. The proposal, sponsored by Sen. Steve Thompson (D-Powder Springs), gives foster parents the ability to request an administrative hearing if they believe their rights have been violated by the state. Senate Bill 188 also gives the same protection to foster parents who are caring for privately-placed children.
— The Senate voted 49-6 for a proposal by Sen. John Douglas (R-Social Circle) to amend Georgia’s Constitution to allow members of the state Senate to serve for four years. Under Senate Resolution 279, senators from even-numbered districts would be elected to a four-year term beginning in 2010. Senators from odd-numbered districts — such as Douglas — would be elected to four-year terms beginning in 2012.
The proposal is wanker on terms for House members. State Rep. Mike Keown (R-Coolidge) has filed a similar proposal in the House. That resolution proposes four-year terms for all legislators.
SR 279 now goes to the House. It also would need final approval from Georgia voters, who have twice rejected attempts to lengthen the terms of their state representatives and senators, most recently in 1988.
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Post by REALITY on Mar 3, 2007 16:57:38 GMT -5
From Cangrands
We would like to invite everyone to a special meeting on Thursday, March 8th from 7 - 9 p.m. at Linhaven Home for the Aged, 403 Ontario St., St. Catharines. We plan on having our local MPP's or their representatives there, as well as our MP and a member from CARP hopefully. Also, we have asked media to be there as well to make the public aware of what our present government didn't do for grandparents raising grandchildren and how disappointed we are.
We must speak up now as it is election year. Hopefully, things might turn around for us.
If anyone has any comments, please reply asap.
Sheila
svolchert@cogeco.ca
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Post by REALITY on Apr 7, 2007 7:23:48 GMT -5
Date: 03 Apr 2007 Title: UN to host the first international summit on grandparents --------------------------------------------------------------- By Nozipho Dlamini, tel: (012) 314-2214
With a dramatic increase in the number of grandparent caregivers around the world, Uganda's Permanent Mission to the United Nations is to convene the first international summit on grandparents raising grandchildren.
According to Uganda's Permanent Mission to the United Nations, Duncan Laki Muhumuza, the summit would seek to create a global dialogue on the urgent need to find solutions for grandparent-headed households.
Addressing a press conference at the UN Headquarters Monday, Mr Muhumuza noted that the role of grandparents in caring for grandchildren had long gone unnoticed and had been mostly uncompensated, at least in monetary terms.
"The upcoming summit would spotlight the unique role of grandparents in caring for their grandchildren," he said.
The number of grandparents, Mr Muhumuza said, taking full responsibility for their grandchildren was unprecedented, mostly due to the effects of HIV and AIDS.
Executive Director of the National Committee of Grandparents for Children's Rights Brigitte Castellano, said when parents could not parent, grandparents could.
The summit has been entitled "Grandparents Caring for Children: A Global Challenge".
It will be held in early May in New York.
Ms Castellano said millions of children did not live with their birth parents.
"While the causes differed from country to country, the results are the same. With families being destroyed by HIV and AIDS, disaster or conflict, grandparents were often the only source to care for their grandchildren," she said.
Providing statistics, she noted that, in Central and Eastern Europe, more than 1, 5 million children lived in out-of-home care.
In Africa, children were increasingly heading households. In Rwanda, for example, more than 227,000 children were raising other children.
"In sub-Saharan Africa, some 12 million children under the age of 17 had lost either one or both parents to AIDS," Ms Castellano said.
In the United States, close to 500,000 children were in foster care.
Despite such statistics, however, the General Assembly had not established guidelines or standards regarding children without parents, she noted.
Culminating in the adoption of a declaration on the rights and obligations of grandparents of parentless children, the summit would, she hoped, foster a global effort in support of grandparent caregivers.
Manager of State Programmes and Services of AARP [formerly known as the American Association of Retired Persons], Beth Finkel said grandparents were heroes, both to their grandchildren and to society at large.
"By stepping in to create a loving and stable home, grandparent caregivers were a service to society.
She said the AARP was pleased to support the summit, which would seek to create an international dialogue on the challenges faced by grandparent caregivers around the world and from different economic backgrounds. - BuaNews
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Post by REALITY on May 15, 2007 20:33:33 GMT -5
Producer Laurie Few of W5 wants to hear your horror stories to use in her outline kinship presentation which her bosses will read to decide if doing a grandparent story is worth it. PLEASE share your tale with her. Laurie will remove all id. Email Laurie at: lfew@ctv.ca 416-576-5116 or 416-313-2498 Thanks. Betty Cornelius Founder of CANGRANDS NATIONAL KINSHIP SUPPORT www.cangrands.com2580 Hartsmere Road, Mc Arthurs Mills, Ontario, K0L2M0 "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the nation and its destiny" --South African proverb
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Post by Judy Potts on Jun 13, 2014 6:52:05 GMT -5
Hello I am raising two grand kids and both have disabilities, yes I love them but at my age it's hard to deal with the anger they have and at times I feel they need someone younger to do more with them. We spend so much time going to different doctors and counciling that at the end off the day this grams is done. Oh and the cell phone and internet thing oh please someone help me
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